An Unforgiving Spirit

“If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, “I repent” you shall forgive him.”(Luke 17:3-4)

Cancel the Debt They Owe You An unforgiving spirit is usually the major cause of every problem related to offence. It forms the cornerstone of the building which houses all negative effects of offence. An unforgiving nature creates hurt and a wrong desire for revenge which blocks our spirits whilst we are trying to rationalise our actions and reactions, and the need to justify ourselves. It stems from a lack of genuine love. We read in 1 Corinthians 13: 5 that, “Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking: it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it” (This means that it pays no attention to a suffered wrong).

True forgiveness is one of the most difficult things to give. This is seen in Luke 17:1-4 when Jesus spoke to His disciples. After stressing the fact that offence was inevitable, he urged them to continually forgive those who offend them. The disciples’ answer to the Lord was, “Increase our faith.” In other words, they found it difficult to forgive continuously by their own strength. They felt that acceptance of that needed a greater level of faith and so they asked Jesus to increase their faith. The disciples had seen many miracles like raising of the dead, healing, walking on water, calming seas etc. without asking for extra faith, but when it came to forgiveness, they asked for an increased faith in order to do what Jesus was commanding them to do. It is therefore not surprising that we find forgiveness so difficult. It is necessary for our own good, both physically and spiritually, to forgive.

In Matthew 18: 21-35, Jesus advises Peter to forgive seventy times seven times. Jesus illustrates an unforgiving attitude here with the parable of the unmerciful servant who had received his master’s kindness but could not show same to his fellow servant who owed him much less. Jesus ended the parable by illustrating the end of the unforgiving; “And in his anger his Lord delivered him to the jailers, till he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother.”

We suffer mental torture if we do not forgive. It is as if we have been imprisoned in a torture chamber of bitterness and resentment with spears sticking into and cutting up our hearts. That, unfortunately, is the punishment we bring upon ourselves when we refuse to forgive and let go.

Jesus said, in Matthew 5:7, “Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.” Mercy is forgiveness. Since we all want to receive God’s mercy, we must do what it takes and that means we must forgive others.

As Christians we must follow the Master’s example by forgiving and praying for the offender. Jesus Himself demonstrated the ultimate example of forgiveness to us by dying on the cross for us. He also showed us the greatest love we could ever know through this. As He hung on the cross in much pain, having taken all the abuse, insults, taunts, name calling, scourging, mockery etc, Jesus asked God the Father to forgive His tormentors. He prayed for them saying, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”( Luke 23: 34).

Naturally, as human as you are, your feelings would include hurt, anger, outrage and bitterness and you may have a strong desire for revenge. Instinctively, you may cry out to God to strike your offenders with lightening and thunder or curse them and all their future generations with the worst curses imaginable. Jesus however, did not do this and as His true followers, we must also forgive and pray for those who cause us pain. He came down as a normal human being and felt all the emotions that we feel, but the difference is that He handled offence differently. We must follow His example in order to experience true peace, breakthroughs and an abundant flow of anointing.

An unforgiving attitude fosters bitterness and can cause you to be restless and lose sleep. These can with time develop into a stronghold and cause many health problems like insomnia and depression. The consequences of offence are many and varied:

1. Offence Can Make You Seek Revenge

2. Offence Can Make You Act Foolishly and Lose Respect

3. Offence can make you commit Murder

4. It Creates Discord in the Home

5. It Changes Your Character

6. It Distorts Your Perception

7. It Makes You Judgemental, Condemning and Critical

8. Refusal to forgive can release God’s wrath against you.

9. Offence can have Criminal Consequences

What Do I Do?

a. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you release your hurt.

You may remember people whom you hold something against as you read this book. Sit quietly and let the Holy Spirit bring them all to remembrance. Some of the memories may be painful. Let the pain out. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you to forgive and release them one by one. Then pray as follows:

PRAYER

My Lord and my God, please forgive me for offending you by having held offence in my heart against … (name of person who has offended you) By my will and from the depths of my heart, I release … (name of person who has offended you) today from all blame. I cancel every debt I have held him/her accountable for. I ask you to forgive those who have sinned against me just as Jesus asked you to forgive those who had sinned against Him. Please bless … (name of person who has offended you) and draw him/her into a closer relationship with you. In Jesus’ precious name I pray. Amen!!

Discern Correctly

b. We must be able to discern things according to the will of God and not by our emotions or how we feel. We are all accountable to God, first; then to ourselves, relations, neighbors and the church community as a whole.

c. Have a clear conscience

Renew your mind to conform to the word of God. Think right so that you are in a right relationship with God Live right and be at peace with others.

We are told in Isaiah 26:3 that we will have perfect peace when our minds are stayed on Him. Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are noble, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report: if there is any virtue and if there is anything praise-worthy, meditate on these things.”

You must be in control of your thoughts. Be prayerful and hold every negative captive in Christ’s name, (2 Corinthians 10:57).

We have to pray for divine wisdom to handle challenges that occur in our lives in a godly way so that the end result is not counter-productive.

DANGERS OF OFFENCE BY LAWRENCE TETTEH